Hello, i know you have money

A brief telephonic conversation.

Me: Hello
She: Good afternoon sir, am i speaking to Mr. Gaurav Mittal ?
Me: Yes
She: Sir, this is Neha calling from Citibank. Thank you for having a Citibank Suvidha account with us.
Me: Ah-ha
She: Sir, as you are our privileged customer, Citibank is happy to offer you a personal investment service. We have a very good triple investment plan with Birla Sun Life which will take care of your children education, health problems of you and your family and your retirement. You will get a tax saving under Section 80C and Section X ( I forgot the technical name )
Me: Actually, i am not..
She: Sir, this is not a sales call. This is a service we are offering to only our preferred customers only.
Me: Ok, but i am not in a position to invest money ( genuinely ).
She: Sir, I am in a position where i can arrange for a personal investment cum relationship manager who will come to meet you at your convenient time. He will explain everything to you on paper. This is a free counseling and will take only half an hour to one hour of your time. You may change your mind after meeting him. So at what time should i send him to meet you today ?
Me: Sorry, i cannot meet as i don't think i am in a position to invest money ( genuinely ).
She: Sir, this is a very good plan only available for some time and will have guaranteed returns. You can even start with a very small amount.
Me: Sorry, i can't.
She: No problem sir, may be in future you may be interested in this. Thank you for your time. Have a nice day.
Me: Thank you. Bye.

Do you see the few bold words above ?

your children education, health problems of you and your family - They have assumed i have children and health problems or may be in future i will have. Great!
Actually, i am not..They don't let you speak much. As soon as she sensed a negative response, she made me feel important.
convenient time...free...today First she said convenient time and later assumed i will have some convenient time the same day. And even if it is free counseling, don't we say, Time is Money ?

He...him One might fall for the trap that some girl with a beautiful voice will come to meet you. Check the pronouns used and try to remember the grammar rules.
only available for some time..future First she said it is available for short time and then left open the possibility to call again in future. May be that future is next Saturday.

Almost every week i get a call having similar flavor as above. Sometimes it is Citibank and at others some other bank. It usually comes on a Saturday afternoon. They try to convince me to invest. When i express my inability to do so they want me to meet their investment cum relationship manager who will come to explain everything.

Above was a very professional and polite conversation. Professional from her side and polite from my side. Honestly, i do not feel good when i get such calls and i refuse though i try my best to refuse politely. On few occasion i have been rude also. I have registered myself on 'Do Not Disturb' but i still get calls so one can assume there must be some loopholes in this 'DND' policy. I refuse for genuine reasons but i believe some moody or crisil must have given me a AAA rating in some database which every telemarketing department has access to. If i get the connection details of such database, i would try to drop that database. I am ready to pay a hacker for this service too.

Anyways. Few inferences and some questions.

Almost 90% of the time a girl/women/lady will call me for these investment, insurance and intrusive calls. I may be wrong if they have invented a way to speak in female voice just like they can acquire English accent of USA or UK.

I wonder who calls potential female clients ? Females or males ? Or is it only the male brigade that is most vulnerable to convincing acts over phone ?

These telemarketing departments of banks or third party ( in case the business is outsourced ) must be having a very healthy gender ratio and may be even titled towards females. Takeaway from it, I would give the example of telemarketing job if any heated discussion comes up regarding gender ratio at work.
They have evolved in the sense that now some of them only call on Saturday because on weekdays we find it very easy to say, " I am busy"

Citibank female employees must be having most pleasing voice and polished English. I would love to talk to them for hours if they do not mention a single instance of investment. At least my English will improve if nothing else.

Next Saturday is approaching .. :)

Smartness and Smartphone..

Cellphones quickly turned into necessity from luxury. People got very little time to flaunt them. If you have it you flaunt it but one cannot flaunt when everyone has it. They became like a wrist-watch. Everyone would have one and some would have more than one though it may look odd to wear watches on both hands but to keep two cellphones in pocket would boast about connections. So the auto-rickshaw driver carrying you has a cellphone, the maid coming to work at your home has two cellphones, your friend has one, your office colleague has one, your boss has one. There was nothing to differentiate. Even usage of cellphone was not enough to differentiate you. It would be used to talk, text and to some extent for music. Yes, you may have a western ringtone but that won't make such a huge difference. Entered the Smartphone - A smart cellphone. Smartphone is the latest buzz helping people to differentiate themselves from their competitors. A competitor can be anyone who can arouse your ego.

The word 'smart' is the cool word of present generation just like 'dude', and 'bro' are. The word 'smart' has the potential to change perspective, for example, if today you seek some advice from a experienced professional before entering into corporate world, he or she would say, "do smart work and not hard work". Sounds so cool though how to do smart work is a matter of research. I don't know whether a cellphone is called smartphone because it has lot of software intelligence build into it or it is called smartphone because it makes you smart and hence differentiate you. Some say whatever it is, at the end of day it makes you smart. So, the word 'smart' has done the trick for cellphones.

People are busy buying smartphones. They wait for the first of next month to invest into a product which they think can make them smart or is making others smart. But does it really make you smart ? I am not sure. I still do not have one. I do not know that the first of which month will make me buy one. But till that time I have come up with a mathematical equation to counter all of you who has a smartphone.

The sum total of smartness of you and your phone is constant.

Those of you who have still not bought a smartphone can apply my equation before deciding which one to buy if it is not disturbing for you.

Torna Trek

Pune is a amazing city in the sense that you just have to travel less than 50 km to escape away from concrete jungle and immersed yourself into life so away from roads, traffic, noise, office, internet and mobile network. It becomes much more bewitching during Monsoon. I used to think that to do treks one needs days as you have to travel far from city. But this perception changed after coming to Pune. I have been to few places in Maharashtra and its landscapes always mesmerize me. This time I went for a one day trek to Torna and it was quite a exceptional experience.

It is so scenic in Monsoon that one take time to comprehend the surroundings and still the mysticism remains unsolved. Monsoon is like a aesthetician, who pays annual visit to adorn the whole landscape. It deluges everything and gives birth to hundreds of waterfalls and tributaries.

As soon as we started from the village, this small river came to welcome us. We wanted to remain dry for as long as possible but for this little water stream which was all set to throw water on our plans. As if it wants to make sure that your feet are washed so that it can keep the hills pristine.

Over the hills the wind was quite strong. Those who think they are over-weight will feel happy in this force of wind energy. One understands why we have two ears, so that air can enter one and escape from other else you might get blew away. The combined force of incessant rains and wind is like a natural water canon used for protestors and in intruders. Yes we humans were intruders here. Drops were falling on faces like hundreds of thin arrows pinching you hard.

And as if the winds and rains were not enough, the fog also crosses your path frequently leaving behind a mist on your spectacles. Sometimes you really hate wearing spectacles. Why they have not invented spectacles with wiper yet ?

A unique plant on the hills. Looks like a group of tortoise coming out of water down the hills ascending so slowly that they always apper immovable. I believe its shape give it the strength to survive the winds. The greenery on mountains is like a huge sheet of velvet fabric showing its different shades as air moves over it. The bushes creates pattern as if anacondas are passing through them.

Sometimes attack is the best defense. Since rains were drenching us hard, we drenched ourselves in waterfalls to neutralize the rains. I almost developed hydrophobia.

After rain soaking ourselves in water and we soaking ourselves in waterfall, this tapri provided the much needed relief by providing the favorite beverage of India, chai. The warmth of holding the hot glass in hands was sufficient to order it twice.

Finally a bath in a more civilized waterfall.

All in all a unique experience. It is not a long trek, however one day is less to comprehend the looks of nature . There are couple of rough and steep rock patches which becomes more difficult to descend in rain. When you go to places like torna and put effort to ascend and descend it , the comfort of life in city comes to your mind. You will want to go back and feel better in your lifestyle but only for few days.