Joy of a billion plus nation...

How do you soak in the feeling of a billion plus nation going crazy with tears, laughter, hugs, jumps, dance, whistling & what not ? It's not easy to take these emotions. For a outsider it would take a while to understand what is going on. A therapeutic method will fail to contain it. You might do something which may make you feel embarrassed afterwards. But that is just OK ! It's not easy to be different among crazy fans to show how happy you are. You will find someone else doing more than you in celebration. You won't mind that! This is that moment which can be mentioned as one of the happiest moment, the moment when your inhibitions will find it difficult to resist you, the moment when you won't mind spending the last penny in your account to spend on celebrations.

India winning a world cup becomes more dramatic & emotional when you bring in the picture a man called Sachin Tendulkar. No one can write a better script than this for Sachin who was carried by Yusuf Pathans & Virat Kohlis on their shoulders all round the ground after that winning moment. It happened finally in his sixth world cup, in his home ground & in front of our eyes. Virat Kholi puts it perfectly when he said, "Sachin was carrying us all along for 22 long years, its time we carry him". This belong as much to you Sachin as it belongs to India.

I am in USA as i write this. I know there cannot be a bad timing than this to be outside India. I woke up at 4 AM to catch the match. Every ball of it was crucial, some were taking us close to the cup at the end of dark tunnel while some were creating more darkness. Still with every ball we were moving. That is what mattered in the end. Well played Guys! What a sensible batting! Me and my friend went berserk at that last helicopter shot by Dhoni. My friend went in hotel lobby to dance & whistle. Hotel staff couldn't understand the feelings. They thought he was mad. They were right. Our hotel owner ( an Indian ) was not at all worried at the outcome of this final. He said, "We have already won the world cup by beating Pakistan the other day". We couldn't stop laughing in joy. I tried calling friends back in India but couldn't get through any number. Apparently all networks can't take the load of joy of billion plus nation. We will celebrate more with Desi junta but nothing that can be matched with India! People in India will find it hard to sleep when they are seeing a dream. For us it is a long day to celebrate.

On the couch with barber

I am sure almost all of you must have waited inside barber-shop ( ok beauty parlor for ladies ) for your turn on a weekend unless off course you were born bald. Have you ever thought while waiting inside a barber-shop that the profession of barber is unique in the sense that here one works maximum over the weekend ? Ironical ! And a barber never complains about working on a weekend. In fact barber earns most of his monthly income on 8-10 days ( Assuming people count Saturday and Sunday as weekend ). It is also true that while a barber uses his time most efficiently over the weekend, his customers waste most of their time waiting for their turn.

To wait is one activity which i finds challenging & demands considerable effort from me. It irritates. I usually gets this irritation once a month unless my hairs decides to grow too slow or too fast. It is very unlikely that you immediately get your turn when you walk inside the barber-shop. You would generally wait and leaf through several Bollywood magazines. Suddenly you would sense that one seat is about to get unoccupied as barber is finished with hair-cut. But the irritation gets aggravated when you realize that person sitting on the chair has gone into hibernation because on a weekend you are expected to sleep long. It doesn't matter that this come on a barber couch. This is the opportunity for which the barber was waiting. He is a smart professional service provider who works on basic fundamental of extracting maximum out of his customer by keeping him engage for as much time as possible. The barber keeps on working over his client, whispering something into his ears & getting a nod in response. When the barber is about to complete the hair cut, he will slowly whispers into the ear of his client to ask, "Shall I shave you ?" The client nods. When the barber is halfway shaving and the blade is exactly on customer's throat, he will whisper, "Would you like to go for a facial, you have some dark spots on your nose ?" Try saying no or shake head in denial in this position. A nod is the only gesture customer can afford to make. Soon the client will be turned into a ghost with yellow paste all over his face. The customer would even enjoy the few slaps on his cheeks barber would give him while doing face massage. In about half an hour more the barber would be done and would adjust the chair to give his client a jolt to wake him up.

So much of irritation! You lose your hairs. You lose your money. You lose your time. It makes me nostalgic too by reminding me of my days in our village when a barber will come home to offer his services to make heads of whole family a bit lighter for a fraction of money we pay today.

When-romance-gets-kicked-off-on cellphone..

Observation is a great way to spend time. Try to observe things around you and chances are you will find something interesting. If you put that interesting thing for analysis in your brain, you may find some pattern, correlation or deviation. Have you ever observed the role played by cellphone in the life of people whose marriage gets fixed or arranged by their parents or guardians ? I have. These observations have been collated over a number of years seeing my friends, relatives, office colleagues & flatmates.

As soon as people get fixed (pardon me for using the word 'fixed', but this word is used so freely) cellphone gets a new life in their life. They get hooked to their cellphones like never before. Their time gets divided into two parts. One in doing things and other in reporting those things over phone. The romance gets kicked off on cellphone and 24 hours become less in a day. The people for whom cellphone will be the last accessory to carry when they leave for office, may forget to wear their underwear but can no longer be separated from their cellphones. Many a times a person has to buy a separate phone and a service plan to keep that hot line always alive, uncluttered and/or cheap . Cellphone no longer remains 'Single'. Yes, it's a bit ironical that the cellphone loses its Single' status and get a companion before its possessor. The person will now have two cellphones, two numbers and of course two bills. I remember about that reliance phone handset which became a symbol of 'committed' status. Similarly there are other behavioral patterns one can easily imagine.

I wonder why telecoms operators fighting so hard for market share in India don't have any plans to cater to needs of people who are about to get married ( If they have one then i am ignorant ). May be they can tie up with matrimonial websites and launch some attractive offers and plans and also consider spamming our mailbox. May be the parents or guardians can consider giving a cellphone and some talk-time to their children once the deal (again sorry for the word ) is done. A advertisement on theme of arranged couple would certainly look nice for a service provider.

P.S. I am not yet married

Handwriting - The obsolete skill

I remember when i was allowed to write in pen as a consequence of coming in fourth standard in school, my teachers, parents & friends advised me to use fountain pen & not ball point pen for first few years. They had a reason that this will improve my handwriting. I believed them though i am still not sure of any scientific reason behind this theory. I got very conscious of this fact because handwriting was such an important aspect of your personality. There used to be a term called Calligraphy. Parents used to boast about their children penmanship. So i also wanted to transit from poor handwriting to good handwriting as i transit from pencil to pen.

In couple of years I improved my handwriting to an extent that i started receiving compliments from friends & teachers. They would say even my rough work is better than their fair work. The rough work i used to do in sidelines of exams copy used to be so clear that teachers could make out very easily that i calculated 17 X 8 there since i don't remember the table of 17. Even girls used to compliment my handwriting though I always considered good handwriting a domain area of girls at school.

I used to feel proud of a skill capable enough to impress others, even girls. Unfortunately, not anymore. Damn these computers. Now i hardly use pen ( don't even keep one). Even when i have to sign, i often have to beg for a pen. Sometimes I wonder why they made me labor in cursive writing in school ? Now everyone has same handwriting ( yes, may be different fonts). Gone are the days when we use to crack the joke in class that one may get 1 out of 10 and that too for good hand writing. I don't know how seriously the art or science & business of graphology is affected? I remember once one girl, who knew some rules of graphology, told me I am good at maths because i make letter 'g' similar to number '8'. I cannot tell you how much i believed & loved that.

Computers have taken away the skill of penmanship from humans. Yes, people with not so good handwriting may say Computer together with internet is a great leveler. But people with good handwriting feels less skilled. Last 20 years has made many things antiques so quickly. There are many things to feel nostalgic for. Handwriting is one of those.

P.S. The irony of the situation is i wanted to write more and more on blog this new year but didn't thought whether it would be in pen or in electronic fonts.

Gender Equations at Gym

Few months back i joined one gym as i was constantly bugged by this feeling that my curves have started becoming obvious and i feel uncomfortable when people constantly stare at me. It's a well balanced gym in the sense that it is visited by almost equal number of girls or women and boys or men ( I will refer to women as girls and men as boys from hereafter to keep up the spirit of gym). This gym is so unlike those ubiquitous Gold's Gym present at the first floor of every locality where the only body parts given focus are biceps and chest, which girls wont like for obvious reasons and hence do not visit such gyms. After successfully being able to wake up and go there for last few months, though a bit irregularly, I recognized certain gender behavioral patterns there.

Most Girls wants to get pampered and Most Boys wants to show macho.

She will never learn the way to do a particular exercise. No matter how many times a trainer has explained her, how to lift her leg, every morning she will come with a fresh mind to forget it again so that when the next time trainer explains, she can complain that she cant do it because it is so complex to lift a leg. She will show tantrums and trainer will try to motivate her and if this relationship has been going on for quite some time he may even scold her when she says, 'I don't want to do it'. I wonder, Why do they come then? Oh yes, to get pampered.

Boys are all Macho. The most usual sight is a boy carrying an unusual grimace of indescribable facial expressions as if they are the real masochist sustaining a huge pain while lifting weights. If you look around you may find a girl nearby. Oh, the efforts are not to lift the weight but to get her attention. Yes, gravity is ignored for girls. (Thank God, Newton didn't do so) . This may be the best time when he may lift a larger weight and may even beat the poor ant on the ratio of weight lifted to their own body weight. Also, there is no greater humiliation for him than she lifting a larger weight than him at the same machine. Both He and She has affinity for mirror in gym though the parts looked into are different. He will try to find machismo in his image and She will look for admiration in her image.

Boys are born coaches while girls don't enjoy the coaching profession so much.
If He sees a girl doing weights, the girl is likely to get a expert advice from him, 'Do it like this', 'Movement should be complete', 'Do it Slowly', and 'Concentrate' . Whoa! looks like some tips to get orgasm. Of course there will be trainers around but they prefer to watch this exercise as if it is some kind of voyeuristic pleasure.

Almost all girls will carry their cellphones to gym and will make sure that they check it once every five minutes or the cellphone checks them back.
Cellphone also come handy when she is alone and gets the feeling that a boy is thinking to strike a conversation. She will simple pretend to be busy with cellphone and will avoid the conversation successfully. Oh Boy, its better to be a cellphone. Boys on the other hand do not usually carry their cellphones to gym though they constantly look for mobile numbers.

Girls join a program to shed their extra kilos while boys join a program to grow muscles.
 This is the story at every gym. Nothing to explain here. Treadmills and aerobics rooms are the domain of girls while dumb-bells are for dumb boys. She wants to lose and He wants to gain (the weight).

Girls get more time of trainers than boys.
This is the rule of Nature that Girls are privileged to get more attention. No one can deny them the luxury of attention. So She would come all dressed in Reebok and Nike fits and would immediately seek a trainer. Who cares to pay for personal trainer when trainers are at your service madam? He will struggle to get a trainer even if he has paid for a personal one. So boys end up helping themselves. It's a tough competition out there for a boy to get some attention and for guys with unimpressive body and no machismo (such as me) chances are so slim that He might only end losing all his gym fee.

Enough of these observations. Let me focus on my curves so that no one else can focus on them.

Dream Job

APJ Abdul Kalam says - "Dream is not what you see when you sleep; dream is something that doesn't let you sleep".
Now don't think of adding a dreadful three letter word 'job' after 'Dream' in the above quote. You will be in problem.

Dream - An amazing word. When get added before some ordinary words, lifts them up.
Job is one such ordinary word.
Most of us do job but how many of us are into their dream jobs ?
I can sense the reply, "Its a dream to be in a dream job."
But before that. Most of us know what job is all about but how many of us have an idea about a dream job?

I guess dream job will vary from person to person. It depends on many things.
It may depend upon the background the person come from. For example for a young boy of a village it could be to serve into army. For a son of a constable it could be to serve as a IPS officer. It may depend upon circumstances. So when you don't have a house, any job that pays you enough to buy one is a dream job.

Let me think what can be my dream job. It should be something i would love to enjoy so as to keep myself in sync with the saying, “Find a job you enjoy, and you’ll never work a day in your life".

OK! Found it. Is there any organization, employer or a government out there who can pay me for dreaming?
Yes you heard that right. Any job opening for a dreamer? If you can refer me i will dream for you as well. Does it sound absurd? Yes it does. I know. But as George Bernard Shaw says, " You see things; and you say,'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say,'Why not?' "

There is a contest in blogadda in partnership with pringOO called My dream job. See dreams have values. I am on the right path.

Men reservation Bill for Pubs & Discos

Everyone talks about being discriminated for some reason and so want to have special privileges. I too have a desire for one.

So they have caste descrimination and lot of politics is done around it.

So they have religion discrimination and there is always a voice to have different laws for different religions.

So they have gender discrimination and there is reservation bill being brought for it.

There are so many NGOs working for against each discrimination that if one were to believe there will be thousands of women activist who will be jobless once women resevation bill passes.

So let me allow to speak about one too.

I want to talk about the discrimination being rendered to male population at various pubs & discos. They wont allow two male friends to go in. They will say "Sorry sir only couples are allowed" or if the place also cares about revenue will say "Sorry sir only couples inside and you have a separate section outside (with no music)". You will think lets just sit here instead of getting humiliated at another pub. But wait as you are ready to take seat you will see two female friends to go in. Are they couple?

Effectively what they are trying to do is to get more and more girls or women. But Why?

Females surely have a advantage over males at pubs & Discos. One of those rare places i guess. Is there anyone out there who takes care for this discrimination?