My Dear Govt.

Dear Govt,

I was told that you are keeping a eye on online activity. Hence i wrote this assuming you will read it.

My teachers taught me, 'Democracy is a form of government which is for the people, by the people and of the people'. Back then, I crammed this definition because my comprehension was so poor that i could not understand its meaning. I wish i had not understood it till today. This definition doesn't hold true at least for today. Today it was demon-cracy. Govt can cite laws for Anna Hazare arrest but was it the only way to handle it ? If Anna Hazare was taken for a breakfast this morning with Prime Minister, it would been such a nice gesture than the attempts made to break fast.

Gandhiji protested heavily against British rule. He was put in jail multiple times. That made the national movement even more stronger. British government thought it would help them govern India but it back fired. Are we thinking similarly to British company ? Or are we refuting the fact that Gandhi's method of accepting jail did not reinforced our struggle ? Or we teach something in history books and practice entirely opposite ? Or have we outsourced our brains to balance out the outsourcing done to India ?

One minister said, "Anna fast may have caused traffic problems, others have rights too, to work, to walk on the roads". Sir, for once i thought you are the most caring minister then i thought, What about traffic jams caused by yours red light decorated cars ? Once I was stuck in a traffic jam on a hot noon for one hour in Pune because your party guys had come to Pune to party after winning elections in Maharashtra. I waited helplessly in frustration. Next time i face that i will try to call you. You imposed Section 144 and some silly conditions at JP Park for Anna Hazare fast. Please do the same when a political party rally is held next time anywhere. We all know how public property and resources are used to organize such events.

Your leading party spokesperson said, "Anna Hazare is corrupt citing a 10 year old report, so he should not speak against corruption". Why you didn't do anything against Anna for 10 years ? Were you trying to establish the widely pervasive belief that we are very poor at law enforcement? Or you were waiting for the right moment ? If we go by this logic then we can deduce that i lose my right to speak against corruption for my entire life if i have ever paid a bribe. Then it would have been better to say that since most of us has paid a bribe we cannot protest.

The whole issue has become a point of arguments in newsrooms. Some one will put a argument, other will put a counter argument. They will fight like vamps do in Ekta Kapoor's daily soap. Can't we keep things simple ? What is wrong with discussing ( forget accepting it) a bill carrying sentiments of your own people ? Is our constitution so inflexible that it cannot stretch itself to accommodate aspirations of people of India ? Common we have accepted your laws for so many years, and you don't have the heart to discuss one such from people ? Yes, there is a likelihood of it setting a wrong precedent. But do you think people are fool to protest at such large scale at every such issue ? Yes, we must be, that's why we elected you.

You have taught a great lesson: We have to realize that when we elect toothless leaders we have to accept a toothless bill. Now the onus is on us.

Thanks

Hello, i know you have money

A brief telephonic conversation.

Me: Hello
She: Good afternoon sir, am i speaking to Mr. Gaurav Mittal ?
Me: Yes
She: Sir, this is Neha calling from Citibank. Thank you for having a Citibank Suvidha account with us.
Me: Ah-ha
She: Sir, as you are our privileged customer, Citibank is happy to offer you a personal investment service. We have a very good triple investment plan with Birla Sun Life which will take care of your children education, health problems of you and your family and your retirement. You will get a tax saving under Section 80C and Section X ( I forgot the technical name )
Me: Actually, i am not..
She: Sir, this is not a sales call. This is a service we are offering to only our preferred customers only.
Me: Ok, but i am not in a position to invest money ( genuinely ).
She: Sir, I am in a position where i can arrange for a personal investment cum relationship manager who will come to meet you at your convenient time. He will explain everything to you on paper. This is a free counseling and will take only half an hour to one hour of your time. You may change your mind after meeting him. So at what time should i send him to meet you today ?
Me: Sorry, i cannot meet as i don't think i am in a position to invest money ( genuinely ).
She: Sir, this is a very good plan only available for some time and will have guaranteed returns. You can even start with a very small amount.
Me: Sorry, i can't.
She: No problem sir, may be in future you may be interested in this. Thank you for your time. Have a nice day.
Me: Thank you. Bye.

Do you see the few bold words above ?

your children education, health problems of you and your family - They have assumed i have children and health problems or may be in future i will have. Great!
Actually, i am not..They don't let you speak much. As soon as she sensed a negative response, she made me feel important.
convenient time...free...today First she said convenient time and later assumed i will have some convenient time the same day. And even if it is free counseling, don't we say, Time is Money ?

He...him One might fall for the trap that some girl with a beautiful voice will come to meet you. Check the pronouns used and try to remember the grammar rules.
only available for some time..future First she said it is available for short time and then left open the possibility to call again in future. May be that future is next Saturday.

Almost every week i get a call having similar flavor as above. Sometimes it is Citibank and at others some other bank. It usually comes on a Saturday afternoon. They try to convince me to invest. When i express my inability to do so they want me to meet their investment cum relationship manager who will come to explain everything.

Above was a very professional and polite conversation. Professional from her side and polite from my side. Honestly, i do not feel good when i get such calls and i refuse though i try my best to refuse politely. On few occasion i have been rude also. I have registered myself on 'Do Not Disturb' but i still get calls so one can assume there must be some loopholes in this 'DND' policy. I refuse for genuine reasons but i believe some moody or crisil must have given me a AAA rating in some database which every telemarketing department has access to. If i get the connection details of such database, i would try to drop that database. I am ready to pay a hacker for this service too.

Anyways. Few inferences and some questions.

Almost 90% of the time a girl/women/lady will call me for these investment, insurance and intrusive calls. I may be wrong if they have invented a way to speak in female voice just like they can acquire English accent of USA or UK.

I wonder who calls potential female clients ? Females or males ? Or is it only the male brigade that is most vulnerable to convincing acts over phone ?

These telemarketing departments of banks or third party ( in case the business is outsourced ) must be having a very healthy gender ratio and may be even titled towards females. Takeaway from it, I would give the example of telemarketing job if any heated discussion comes up regarding gender ratio at work.
They have evolved in the sense that now some of them only call on Saturday because on weekdays we find it very easy to say, " I am busy"

Citibank female employees must be having most pleasing voice and polished English. I would love to talk to them for hours if they do not mention a single instance of investment. At least my English will improve if nothing else.

Next Saturday is approaching .. :)

Smartness and Smartphone..

Cellphones quickly turned into necessity from luxury. People got very little time to flaunt them. If you have it you flaunt it but one cannot flaunt when everyone has it. They became like a wrist-watch. Everyone would have one and some would have more than one though it may look odd to wear watches on both hands but to keep two cellphones in pocket would boast about connections. So the auto-rickshaw driver carrying you has a cellphone, the maid coming to work at your home has two cellphones, your friend has one, your office colleague has one, your boss has one. There was nothing to differentiate. Even usage of cellphone was not enough to differentiate you. It would be used to talk, text and to some extent for music. Yes, you may have a western ringtone but that won't make such a huge difference. Entered the Smartphone - A smart cellphone. Smartphone is the latest buzz helping people to differentiate themselves from their competitors. A competitor can be anyone who can arouse your ego.

The word 'smart' is the cool word of present generation just like 'dude', and 'bro' are. The word 'smart' has the potential to change perspective, for example, if today you seek some advice from a experienced professional before entering into corporate world, he or she would say, "do smart work and not hard work". Sounds so cool though how to do smart work is a matter of research. I don't know whether a cellphone is called smartphone because it has lot of software intelligence build into it or it is called smartphone because it makes you smart and hence differentiate you. Some say whatever it is, at the end of day it makes you smart. So, the word 'smart' has done the trick for cellphones.

People are busy buying smartphones. They wait for the first of next month to invest into a product which they think can make them smart or is making others smart. But does it really make you smart ? I am not sure. I still do not have one. I do not know that the first of which month will make me buy one. But till that time I have come up with a mathematical equation to counter all of you who has a smartphone.

The sum total of smartness of you and your phone is constant.

Those of you who have still not bought a smartphone can apply my equation before deciding which one to buy if it is not disturbing for you.

Torna Trek

Pune is a amazing city in the sense that you just have to travel less than 50 km to escape away from concrete jungle and immersed yourself into life so away from roads, traffic, noise, office, internet and mobile network. It becomes much more bewitching during Monsoon. I used to think that to do treks one needs days as you have to travel far from city. But this perception changed after coming to Pune. I have been to few places in Maharashtra and its landscapes always mesmerize me. This time I went for a one day trek to Torna and it was quite a exceptional experience.

It is so scenic in Monsoon that one take time to comprehend the surroundings and still the mysticism remains unsolved. Monsoon is like a aesthetician, who pays annual visit to adorn the whole landscape. It deluges everything and gives birth to hundreds of waterfalls and tributaries.

As soon as we started from the village, this small river came to welcome us. We wanted to remain dry for as long as possible but for this little water stream which was all set to throw water on our plans. As if it wants to make sure that your feet are washed so that it can keep the hills pristine.

Over the hills the wind was quite strong. Those who think they are over-weight will feel happy in this force of wind energy. One understands why we have two ears, so that air can enter one and escape from other else you might get blew away. The combined force of incessant rains and wind is like a natural water canon used for protestors and in intruders. Yes we humans were intruders here. Drops were falling on faces like hundreds of thin arrows pinching you hard.

And as if the winds and rains were not enough, the fog also crosses your path frequently leaving behind a mist on your spectacles. Sometimes you really hate wearing spectacles. Why they have not invented spectacles with wiper yet ?

A unique plant on the hills. Looks like a group of tortoise coming out of water down the hills ascending so slowly that they always apper immovable. I believe its shape give it the strength to survive the winds. The greenery on mountains is like a huge sheet of velvet fabric showing its different shades as air moves over it. The bushes creates pattern as if anacondas are passing through them.

Sometimes attack is the best defense. Since rains were drenching us hard, we drenched ourselves in waterfalls to neutralize the rains. I almost developed hydrophobia.

After rain soaking ourselves in water and we soaking ourselves in waterfall, this tapri provided the much needed relief by providing the favorite beverage of India, chai. The warmth of holding the hot glass in hands was sufficient to order it twice.

Finally a bath in a more civilized waterfall.

All in all a unique experience. It is not a long trek, however one day is less to comprehend the looks of nature . There are couple of rough and steep rock patches which becomes more difficult to descend in rain. When you go to places like torna and put effort to ascend and descend it , the comfort of life in city comes to your mind. You will want to go back and feel better in your lifestyle but only for few days.

Cellphones ke side effects...

Cellphones are frequently referred as Mobiles though there is nothing mobile about them. They just remain with you while you move. There is hardly any relative motion between you and your cellphone. You take them to your office, you take them to bedroom(s), you take them with you when you go for a walk, you take them to restaurants and parties and you take them with you in toilets. It goes wherever you go, it just depends what all places you go. Sometimes you even manages to take them to places where you are not supposed to take it such as temples, museums and jail. Yes, You are so smart!

Recently there has been a lot of debate around cellphones causing cancers or making you infertile if you keep them into your trouser's pockets. There has been a experiment where someone boiled a egg using radiation of cellphone. All sorts of reports to wake up PR cells in cellphone companies. Of course all cellphones companies have denied that. Moreover, they don't have to worry much as cellphones have entered into our lives just like television, alcohol, tobacco or drugs and one might need special treatment to avoid them.

Nevertheless consider some side effects of cellphones...

1. Girls can lose more weight if they stop bringing their cellphones to gym. For one hour spent in gym half an hour is spent on cellphone & other half an hour on anticipating calls and SMS.

2. Cellphones makes your memory free (useless). No one makes effort to put things into brain. People just prefer putting them into cellphones.

3. Bad handwriting. If computers and emails are responsible for making you hand write less and less, cellphones have even taken away the little opportunity away from you as you prefer taking short notes through your touchscreens.

4. No surprise visit by your friend or relative. One is expected to call before ringing the door bell.

5. Before saying 'hello' you know who is calling. So no voice surprises. Now no one ask, 'Who is speaking ?' or says, 'Pehchana kya?'. There is a feel good when someone recognizes your voice.

6. Less mystery and suspense in life with blank calls going completely out of fashion.

7. Less chances of getting-eyes-in-eyes-moments with girls or boys on road. The moment girl feels awkward on seeing a boy on road or a bus stand she is quick to become cozy with little instrument containing the world.

8. People have become more tolerant to unpunctuality as they have cellphone to play with while they wait.

9. Optimism has reduced its lifespan. For example, If one is waiting for a call from someone then your optimism may die as soon as you see the screen before you hear the voice.

10. Interpersonal skills take a severe beating. You remain engrossed in your cellphone while in a public transport, office cab or at a party. You don't meet new people on your own. You stop using your senses to observe.

I guess 10 is too much.

Wah Taj!

Last week I got an opportunity to enter & see the famous Taj Mahal Palace hotel at Gateway of India, Mumbai. I had seen it from outside so many times & have always desired to spent sometime inside it. If i remember correctly when i was doing my summer internship in Mumbai in 2004, me & my friend entered it & came out after using the restroom on the top floor of its new building or tower. That was a very juvenile effort & a short lived adventure. The longing to see it from inside was still there. Last week it got fulfilled partially. It was more of a confident & relaxed visit as I had the invitation to enter it & attend one session in its Gateway Hall. The few hours i was inside flew away in no time. It was as if earth was spinning at speed of light. I have been to only few five star hotels but this one is beyond any scale of rating. A sheer beauty.

The building is always like a beautiful Indian bride on her wedding day waiting anxiously for its groom. You feel the aura of its hospitality in the air. An ascetic may get tempted to appreciate its luxury. The halls are warm and quiet, galleries are majestic, staircases are magical and lobby if full of life. Each of its gallery wall is a history book of this building & India. They tell you about those famous gatherings and parties it has played host to. The dance that was performed on its red carpet or the menu that was served to queen or the melody that was played to made the ambiance. You get an insight into how princely & wealthy India was. My slow senses took too long to comprehend the portraits and pictures on its wall. When you look outside from the window of Gateway Hall, you see the Arabian sea & its waves desperate to touch this building to make love. The various boats being attracted towards it. The Gateway of India guarding the palace and welcoming the guests. You see people below on street happy to click themselves in front of this Palace. Photographers still managing to find business in this age of digital camera. Various tonga-wallahs giving royal rides to people. So much of euphoria.

Yes I was in awe for few hours !

Not all people are bad..

My experiences with auto-rickshaw drivers have always been bad. I am not sure why i always used to land up in arguments with auto-rickshaw drivers. May be it was my bad luck, my behavior or just bad auto-rickshaw drivers. It would be fair to assume it was due to mix of all those. But now i can think beyond this jinx because few days back I finally met one auto rickshaw driver who was good enough to make you feel less cynical about this world.

I took an auto-rickshaw to office in the morning after thinking that i have missed my office bus. ( though later i came to know the bus was late ). The bill was Rs. 63. I gave auto-rickshaw driver Rs.100. He said he doesn't have change. My office is in a so called modern cyber city where all sophisticated means are adopted to make it look like a western world. Street vendors or shops are not allowed. It becomes very difficult to get a change. Sometimes i wonder about opening a business of tendering change & end up making more money than my job. I tired to get change from security people around & all those people i could see nearby. None had it. I kept on trying for couple of minutes. 'Baad mei de dena', said the driver. I couldn't believe it. There was calmness & assurance in his voice. I was surprised because a similar kind of incidence has happened with me before where the auto-rickshaw driver took Rs. 100 and told me that he will find me near my home to give me the remaining amount. I have never seen him till now. I asked the driver to keep Rs. 100 & give me the remaining amount later if he finds me next time near my home. He refused saying, 'Aap mujhe de doge, mei aapko nahi de payunga'. What indifference & honesty ! It was if he wanted to repair the trust deficit or wanted to challenged my values. I was nonplussed, felt helpless and couldn't force him to take Rs. 100. It didn't struck me to take his mobile number but as he went away i noted his auto-rickshaw number because now the onus is on me.

In this cynical world of self interests they say not all people are bad, you will encounter some good people in your life. It's TRUE.