मीडिया पहुंचा मंगल पे

हमारे देश में किसी ने प्रगति की हो न हो मीडिया ने जरूर की है | पहले पूरे दिन एक आध घंटे के समाचार आते थे आजकल 24 घंटे समाचार आते है । रोज एक न्यूज़ चैनल जन्म लेता है और हमारा मनोरंजन करने का बीड़ा उठाता है । हर जगाह मीडिया पहुँच गया है और जहाँ नहीं पहुँच पाया है वहाँ इस लेख के छपने तक पहुँच जायेगा । 

बचपन में मैंने गर्मियों की छुट्टी में बिल्लू की एक कॉमिक्स पड़ी  (डायमंड कॉमिक्स जो आजकल स्मार्टफोन के ज़माने में जंगल से शेरो की तराह विलुप्त हो रही है ) उसमें बिल्लू और उसके दोस्त भी गर्मियों की छुट्टी मना रहे होते है ।  वो सोचते है कि कुछ साहसिक काम किया जाये जिससे उनका नाम हो । उन्हें पता चलता है कि शहर के बाहर एक पहाड़ है जिसकी चोटी पे अभी तक कोई नहीं चढ़ा है  । वो उस पहाड़ की चोटी पर जाने की ठान लेते है  और फैसला करते है किसी को नहीं बतायंगे जिससे उनका रिकॉर्ड बन सके । लेकिन उनके दुश्मन बजरंगी पहलवान को ये बात पता चल जाती है और वो भी पहाड़ की चोटी पर बिल्लू और उसके दोस्तों से पहले जाने का प्लान बनाता है जिससे वो बिल्लू को नीचा दिखा सके । दोनों दल पहाड़ पे चढ़ना शुरू करते है लेकिन बिल्लू का दल आगे निकल जाता है |

बहुत मेहनत के बाद जब बिल्लू और उसके दोस्त पहाड़ की चोटी पे पहुंचने वाले होते है तो वो ये देखकर हैरान रह जाते है कि मीडिया वाले पहाड़ की चोटी पर पहले से मौजूद है ।  वो इसलिए मौजूद है जिससे कि इस पहाड़ की चोटी को जिसने सबसे पहले जीता उसका इंटरव्यू ले सके । बेचारे बिल्लू और उसके दोस्तों का रिकॉर्ड बनाने का सपना पूरा नहीं हो पाताक्यूंकि मीडिया वाले रिकॉर्ड बनाने वाले का इंटरव्यू लेने के चक्कर में खुद सबसे पहले पहुँच जाते है ।  

शायद प्राण साहब ने बहुत पहले ही मीडिया के इस टैलेंट को भांप लिया था कि वो कही भी सबसे पहले पहुँच सकती है जैसे देश में कोई भी प्राकृतिक आपदा आती है तो सरकारी राहत से पहले मीडिया पहुँच जाती है और उन लोगो को कैमरा पे दिखाती  जो बोलते है "कोई सरकारी मदद नहीं मिली है अभी तक, मैं जानना चाहता हूँ हमारी सरकार कहाँ सो रही है ? " एक तो सरकार वैसे ही सुस्त ऊपर से मीडिया की इस फुर्ती को वैसे ही देखती है जैसे एक पैदल चलने वाला इंसान हवाई जहाज को उड़ान भरते हुए ।

उत्तराखंड में बाढ़ आई तो टीवी पे देखा एक पत्रकार एक आदमी के कंधो पे बैठ के रिपोर्ट कर रहा था और वो आदमी कमर तक पानी में डूबा था । पत्रकार साहब बोल रहे थे  "आप देख सकते है हमारे चारो ओर पानी ही पानी है, भयानक तबाही का मंजर है, हम यहाँ सबसे पहले पहुंचे । आप देख सकते है कितनी मुश्किल के बावजूद यहाँ से पल पल की खबर दिखा रहे है लेकिन सरकार अभी तक लापता है " । मुझे ये समझ नहीं आता कि सरकार मीडिया के इन पत्रकारों से कुछ सीखती क्यों नहीं ? क्यों ना सरकार मीडिया वालो को डिजास्टर मैनेजमेंट टीम में रख ले ?

जम्मू कश्मीर में बाढ़ आई तो एक बार फिर से मीडिया वाले सरकार की राहत टीम से पहले पहुँच गए । एक पत्रकार को देखा वो नाव में बैठ के एक घर की खिड़की के निचे पहुँच गया । घर के बच्चे खिड़की पे आ गए तो उनसे पूछा क्या आप लोगो ने कुछ खाया है? इससे पहले की बच्चे कुछ बोलते पत्रकार ने उनको सेब के जूस के पैकेट पकड़ा दिए और बोला, " ये सब बच्चे भूखे है और अभी तक इनकी मदद के लिए कोई नहीं आया है , हमने इन्हें ढूंढ निकाला और देखिये ये मासूम सेब का जूस पी रहे है "  

मीडिया का कुछ ऐसा ही रूप आजकल भारत के प्रधानमंत्री नरेन्द्र मोदी की विदेश यात्राओं में देखने को मिलता है । जिस देश में मोदी जाने वाले होते है वहाँ मीडिया उनसे पहले पहुँच जाता है । कुछ समय पहले भारत के प्रधानमंत्री नरेंद्र मोदी जापान गए । लेकिन उससे दो दिन पहले ही मीडिया वाले जापान पहुँच गए और वहाँ की बुलेट ट्रैन के टॉयलेट की तस्वीरें दिखाने लगे । पत्रकार इस तराह पेश आये जैसे मोदी ने कोई नया देश खोज निकला हो । मुझे भूगोल की अपनी उस अध्यापिका की याद आई जिसने मेरा कान पकड़ के बताया था की मैप में जापान कहाँ होता है । ऐसा लगा मानो धरती फटी और उसमें से जापान निकल आया । वहाँ मोदी ने ढोल बजाया तो यहाँ अर्नब गोस्वामी ने ।  

कुछ दिनों बाद जब मोदी अमेरिका गए तो ऐसा लगा मीडिया में कोलंबस की आत्मा आ गई है और अमेरिका का जन्म हुआ है ।  इतनी तस्वीरें दिखाई जितनी अमेरिका में रहने वाले भारत के लोग भी फेसबुक पे भी नहीं डालते । टी वी पे अमेरिका ही अमेरिका | एक पत्रकार तो इतना उत्तेजित हो गया कि वहां जमा हुए लोगो से ही तू तू मैं मैं कर आया |

सही में भारत भले ही अभी भी विकसित देश नहीं है लेकिन यहाँ का मीडिया आई फोन-6 से भी ज्यादा विकसित है । कुछ लोग तो ये भी बोल रहे है कि मंगलयान ने मंगल गृह की जो सबसे पहली तस्वीरें भेजी है उसमें कुछ पत्रकार मंगल गृह पर कैमरा पकडे खड़े दिखाई दे रहे है । इसरो ने ये तस्वीरें सार्वजानिक नहीं की है |

Why are we protesting so much ?

We have been protesting too much and that too again and again against our own government - the government we have elected- and the government is suppressing the people protesting against it again and again. We have seen that during Anna Hazare movement, during Ramdev protest and now during this Delhi gang rape case. Every time people protest our leaders (Should I call them leaders?) fail miserably to manage the protest and contain the emotion of its own people. When emotions are so high, people need a leader who can speak not only with equal emotion but also with passion. Unfortunately we don't seem to have that voice at the moment.

Today the crowd at Raisina Hill went out of control and Delhi police used lathi, water cannon and tear gas. Forget about water cannon try pouring a mug of cold water over you in this chilly weather of Delhi. It was a leaderless protest where some were asking to hang the criminals, some were asking to hand over to them, some were asking for a change in law and some were trying to divert attention towards women safety in public transport system. Perhaps the only little thing this youthful crowd was expecting amid all these demands was that some responsible leader will come forward and will listen and talk to them and give them some sort of assurance. The expectation of that assurance was too much for our leaders who chose to watch them being lathi-charged, water- canonized and tear-gased instead of interacting with them. It was in a way repetition of what government did with Anna Hazare when it arrested him or when it ordered Delhi police to go berserk on sleeping people at night during Ramdev's protest.

Why do we have to come out and protest when we have much better work to do? Why the government has become blind, deaf and dumb? Why do we have to remind government of its duties again and again? Why can’t the government act? We declare so proudly that India is the youngest nation on planet with almost half of its population below the age of 25 and more than 65% below the age of 35. But when the young India was bursting in anger today in Delhi there was no one to placate them. Where are our so called charismatic leaders? It is an irony that the youngest nation on the planet is governed by some oldest people in power. There is a huge disconnect. If government doesn’t act then people might just start taking law into their hands. One can sense that if one goes by messages on some of the posters people were carrying at today’s protest.

The government seems to be clueless and brainless. It thinks it can still manage with superficial governance and false promises but that might just not work because people are speaking out more than ever before. 

What if Gandhi's three-wise-monkeys form a team ?

Today is birthday of Mahatma Gandhi – the man who brought freedom to India by following an ideology of non-violence. As kids we were taught many a lessons from Mahatma’s ideology, lifestyle and practices.  One of the stories that we were told was about the statue of three wise monkeys that he used to keep.  The first monkey has both its eyes covered with its hand, the second monkey has both its ears covered with its hand and the third monkey has its mouth covered with its hands. Basically, they say use your GOD gifted senses wisely.  The 3 monkeys convey the message that we must “see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil”.

Imagine if these three wise monkeys decide to work as a team and collaborate with each other. As per the formal definition, a group can be called a team if the skills of its members complement each other, i.e., one member’s skills makes up for the missing skills in other member. So if these three monkeys work as a team, then they can overcome all constraints without making it obvious. As a team they have all the senses. They will see evil, hear evil and speak evil and yet to the world it would appear that they are the same three wise monkeys.

This is how we manage to find loopholes. This is how we are beating the system today. 

Horn NOT OK Please!

I was on a two wheeler waiting patiently at the red light of traffic signal. Behind me was a car constantly blowing horn at every 4 seconds. How am I supposed to move ? How can I give way to this impatient, senseless and insensitive car fellow ? I wish I was shaktimaan or superman and could take a jump high in the sky to let him get ahead of me. I wish there was light in the rear of my two wheeler which would blink and show middle finger every time there was a horn from this car fellow. If he still did not understand what I mean I wish I could press a button which would show FUCK in the rear light. If some automobile company provides these features in rear lights do let me know, I will buy its vehicle at once.If there is none, someone should starting implementing this and pay me the royalty.

Honking unnecessarily has become the usual practice. It has become kind of a safety net. If I have blown the horn and if someone comes under my car, no one can blame me. The person under the car is to be blamed even if he has died. It is my vehicle, my fuel and my right to blow the horn. If I am in a hurry I have the right to make everyone deaf on road. No matter if the red light shows 100 seconds to go I will blow the horn. If I am driving a vehicle and someone ahead of me wants to cross the road, I will make sure I will blow the horn loud enough to scare him. How dare you cross the road in front of me ?

We do not want to slow down. We think if we keep blowing horn we have the right to maintain the speed. There are enough horns coming into your apartment on a Saturday afternoon that if somehow they stop you will feel something is wrong with the world. I am sure we have missed the whole point of having a horn in our vehicle. I am not sure who innovated the horn but for sure by now if he is alive he would have become deaf. 

How peaceful the world would be without these horns ?

Pan Singh Tomar

I decided to leave half of India-Pakistan match in Asia cup to go for Pan Singh Tomar. It proved out to be a good decision as India bowled poorly for the first half of the match. For the first time, I went to see a movie alone. The plan to watch it with friends did not work. Plans often fails, planning is overrated. By the time I went for it everyone has watched it or did not want to see it. I could not resist the interesting things I was hearing about it. In fact, I feared that they might stop showing it as it was already more than two weeks old. Fortunately it was running successfully just like Pan Singh Tomar ran successfully for steeple chase. As usual I did not read any reviews but I cannot prevent myself to hear that it was the story of a national record holder in athletics who becomes a rebel (baghi) in Chambal. Fascinating and intriguing. I was a bit hesitant to say 'one' when at the ticket counter I was asked, "How many tickets of Pan Singh Tomar?". But once I was inside, I don't know how time went by?. The only thing I didn't like in those two and a half hours was the trailer of Houseful-2 in the intermission.

It was a brilliant movie. True stories are brilliant. True stories are about life and life is not only interesting but uncertain too. Else we might get bored living just fifty years of life. The uncertainty in life of Pan Singh Tomar was crafted in this movie. I wanted to see more of sports in the movie. I wanted to see more about how Pan Singh prepared, struggled and won or lose. Perhaps, the limitations of a movie. But it was fine. His transformation into a rebel was sad enough to move you. The transformation was not sudden, it was gradual.  In some way I can relate the story to the lifestyle of my village. In villages it is not very easy to do something irregular. There are enough traditional roadblocks, jealously and feudal reasons to poke you if you decide to do something unconventional . Pan Singh Tomar was called 'Bhagoda' by his cousin, making fun of his talent and ability to run. The feudal wars about land runs deep in families. I have witnessed several such stories which ended not so happily in my village. In one such case a person was shoot at when he came back to meet his sister by his cousins and uncles. Pan Singh Tomar was all genuine. It was also nice to see glimpses of my alma mater in the movie.

I conveniently call myself a sports lover but I had never heard about Pan Singh Tomar until I saw this movie. It made me realized how limited is our exposure to sports in India. The one aspect where diversity of India loses is richness is its sports. Cricket is uniform all over our geography. It sounds cliche and unfair to say in India cricket takes the center stage in sports but it is true. Still we cannot blame cricket. We need stories of our great sportsman in Schools to inspire the kids. True stories inspires you.

We are not a sports crazy nation. We need to be! 

We run to reduce effects of our diet on our body. He ran to placate his voracious diet. That was Paan Singh Tomar. 

Let's criticize Sachin

They say it is very easy to be a critic. For example, you can become a film critic easily and just say the movie was good in first half but lost its grip in the second half. Similarly, you can criticize an aging cricketer such as Sachin even on his slightest failure because you know he won't play that long now to prove you wrong. And, it just feels good to criticize.

Yesterday, after a long ( by Sachin's standard ) wait, Sachin completed his 100th century in international cricket. A significant yet just another record in the bag of a maestro. It was not an easy journey for Sachin and at the same time it was not an easy one for his fans. Like him, his fans also face the heat from his criticizers and fans-turned-criticizers. It happened every time he went through a lean patch ( again by his standards). I have had many arguments with my friends, colleagues and family members defending myself as a Sachin's fan.

The criticism was severe and harsh during this wait for 100th 100.  More people joined in the criticism. The voice against him became more strong. Now Sachin's critics were also joined by his fans who wanted him to retire right after winning the 2011 world cup. Their point is that a cricketer should retire at his peak or after achieving a certain goal. Even Kapil Dev joined them. I grew 10 years watching Kapil Dev taking those last 34 wickets in his test career. We all forget our time. Probably these fans did not want to see Sachin passing through anymore lean patch. They wanted to remember him as a player who retired on a winning note gloriously. Sometimes, I felt people have made it their personal objective to make him retire. I wonder, Why people are going so crazy about his retirement ? Were they the one who told him to start playing cricket ?

Yesterday, when Sachin started playing and he was coming close to 100, there in came the argument that even if he scores a hundred it would be against a very weak team - Bangladesh. They would have criticized him if he would not have been able to do so against the very same team saying, Hey he cannot even score against Bangladesh now. In the end Bangladesh defeated India. Thank you Bangladesh for proving that you were not a weak team. A tight slap on the face of those who were saying Bangladesh was a weak team.

Media, in particular Hindi media, was not far behind too. Star news had this headline, "Sachin did not score on 82 balls". The stupid journalists of Star news wanted to imply that Sachin's slow century was responsible for the loss. But when you say he did not score on 82 balls, it means his 114 runs were scored on remaining 65 balls of his innings. Overall, it was a healthy strike rate of around 78. This is what happens in every batsmen innings. A batsman plays many dot balls & also take 2s,3s, 4s and 6s. Star news journalists knows it very well. It was just an attempt to sensationalize and manipulate statistics to present something spicy and controversial with a background music of a thriller making full advantage of the fact that our opinion, thoughts and arguments are gullible.

Fans and followers are usually unreasonable. We make GODs out of our greats and then we are not prepared to accept a single failure from them. We will also not tolerate any act from them which is not ethical or is against our value system no matter how we personally treat ethics and value system. Our greats should be pure. Our standards of judgement are very straight forward, a single mistake and you no longer represent us.

Profession defines whether your are young or old. So while Rahul Dravid, 39 bid adieu to cricket, Rahul Gandhi, 41 is still a young politician. A sportsman has a short career on field. It is true that Sachin is not what he used to be. Even if you put that question to him he will admit it. But let him and/or selectors decide about his career. Don't just use him for the sake of proving yourself to be a tough decision taker, unemotional or a person different from rest of the others.

Anyone for a movie?

Friday evening. I left office with my friend and the only thing I wanted was to relax. En-route to home we suddenly decided to check for some movie at one of the multiplex*. I generally go to movies randomly making enough efforts that no movie review enters my ears before I see it. This way, I have enjoyed many more movies such as Welcome to Sajjanpur,  Saheb Biwi aur Gangster, Do Dooni Chaar, Shaitan and so on.

Before parking the vehicle we ensured that there is some show. It was 'Ek Main aur Ekk Tu' due to start in 5 minutes. After parking the vehicle, we proceeded to buy tickets. I am not sure why it did not strike us that the multiplex looked deserted. There were hardly any vehicles in parking. There was no queue at ticket counter. There was not even a single boy waiting anxiously for his girlfriend. There was no let's-chill-after- office couple in sight. At ticket counter, I was surprised when counter boy said, "The show will not run. There are less than 10 people to see and minimum 25 are required". What ? 

There were six or seven others who were disappointed like us including a lady who was trying hard to convince cinema guys, "Hey, We have burnt fuel of more than ticket price to come this far for it". We waited for few minutes thinking in this city of more than 50 lacs at least 25 will turn up. None came and we left. 

Before yesterday, I always used to think that it can only be the other way round. I have come back many times from theaters because I could not secure a ticket. I have bought a ticket in black for a Hindi movie not starring Rajnikanth in Chennai. I have sit on front rows for many movies to strain my neck. But not getting a ticket because there are not enough people to watch ?

For a movie released just last Friday ?
For a movie starring Kareena Kapoor and Aamir Khan's nephew ?
On the much awaited Friday evening in a city dominated by corporate culture?
On a day when the only significant Hindi movie released was 'Ek Deewana Tha' ? (Significant only because it has A R Rahman music).

On my way back* I was wondering what could be the reasons for such a lackadaisical response, even worse than Mumbai response to its civic elections.

May be the market research of the multiplex has gone wrong ? But the multiplex is surrounded by concrete jungle, thousands of residential flats and hundreds of immigrants bachelors working in Pune.
May be too many bad movie reviews.
May be people are bored of Kareena Kapoor ? Less likely.
Movies have short life now. At most 1.5 weeks. Still some manage to earn 100 crores in this time period.
May be movies come too soon on television ? True.
May be torrents ?
May be people have better things to do.
May be everyone has seen it.

* The multiplex is situated in Kharadi, Pune.
*We took our Rs.10 back from parking guy :)