Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

What if Gandhi's three-wise-monkeys form a team ?






Today is birthday of Mahatma Gandhi – the man who brought freedom to India by following an ideology of non-violence. As kids we were taught many a lessons from Mahatma’s ideology, lifestyle and practices.  One of the stories that we were told was about the statue of three wise monkeys that he used to keep.  The first monkey has both its eyes covered with its hand, the second monkey has both its ears covered with its hand and the third monkey has its mouth covered with its hands. Basically, they say use your GOD gifted senses wisely.  The 3 monkeys convey the message that we must “see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil”.

Imagine if these three wise monkeys decide to work as a team and collaborate with each other. As per the formal definition, a group can be called a team if the skills of its members complement each other, i.e., one member’s skills makes up for the missing skills in other member. So if these three monkeys work as a team, then they can overcome all constraints without making it obvious. As a team they have all the senses. They will see evil, hear evil and speak evil and yet to the world it would appear that they are the same three wise monkeys.

This is how we manage to find loopholes. This is how we are beating the system today. 

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Government || IT company

Imagine this government working as a business unit of an Information Technology company. For some time now, the only project that this IT company is busy with is to save the government from embarrassment. Other projects have taken the backseat. The operational cost is increasing with each scam that keep coming to surface. Some parallels between present government affairs and IT company/project/team..

  • Prime Minister, Dr. Manmohan Singh is the delivery manager who has no idea of what is being delivered to the nation.
  • Pranab Mukherjee is the Support Manager with excellent trouble shooting techniques. He is being overused and paying the price of poor quality of governance (software). The frustration in him was quite evident when he said, "I don't know where this country is going ?" when media seeked his reaction over a man slapping Sharad Pawar. Time to make him president and let him relax in Goa.
  • S.M. Krishna only work is to go onsite and shake hands with Hinna Rabbani Khar & Hillary Clinton.
  • 10 Janpath is the HR department with Sonia Gandhi as its head. Whenever there is a problem, employees rush to it. P Chidambaram and Pranab Mukherjee had that kind of race to reach 10 Janpath recently over 2G note row. 
  • Digvijay Singh and Kapil Sibal are senior developers who still introduces more bugs than junior developers.
  • A. Raja and Suresh Kalmadi were two account managers who were fired reluctantly for making customers unhappy. Well, customers are still unhappy.
  • Anna Hazare & his team is doing a great testing. The testing has also been outsourced to media and citizenry beautifully.
  • Rahul Gandhi is (still) a fresher with Digvijay Singh as his mentor. Performance of both of them is below expectations on the bell curve and can be considered for performance improvement plan.
  • Government's Capability Maturity Model (CMM) has taken a serious beating by Comptroller and Auditor General (CAG) of India in recent times.
  • Business Partners or allies such as Mamta Banerjee are not easy to please or negotiate with.
  • DMK, an important business partner of government has made a nice and profitable business and is now distributing free gadgets.
  • Parliament adjournments are like those server outages. The only difference being that, in case of government they are happening quite frequently and that too on weekdays.
  • Parliament usually has very poor attendance. Employees are enjoying working from home. 

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Digvijay Singh to go on no-stupidity-fast


Now that L K Advani's rath-yatra is over, Digvijay Singh has announced that he will go on a 3 day no-stupidity-fast. Digvijay Singh who has become famous for his stupidity is all set to create a new market share in the market of politics of fast and intensify the competition. In an open letter sent to the press he has declared that he will not say a word of stupidity for 3 full days (not even to himself). Digvijay Singh has clarified that his stupidity is very dear to him and to refrain from something you love qualifies as a fast.

He has mentioned that his motive is to create awareness about stupidity and its great power. He wrote, "If stupidity is channelized properly through modern media then it can achieve unbelievable goals for this country such as giving people of India a chance to laugh in their otherwise busy and dull life." He further added that this is not a political stunt like Narendra Modi's fast or Advani's Rath Yatra because he doesn’t believe in stunts and only believe in acts of stupidity.  He said, he is yet to decide on the date of this innovative fast. First he is planning to go on a motorcycle-yatra with prince baba to ride a pillion to villages of India and educate people about stupidity. This motorcycle-yatra will start from bhatta-prasul. He ended the letter saying, “Every one has a democratic right to fast”.  

We all should support this act of honesty from Digvijay Singh, IF IT EVER HAPPENS.

Everyday Digvijay Singh says something and media air it as breaking news till he open his mouth again. Most of the time it is stupidity. Sometimes I wonder what will happen to media-shops if he stops talking to media ? May be we have enough people to feed the 24 X 7 news.

I was reading this Scott Adams blog and felt that our finance minister should try implement the idea by imposing a stupidity-tax in India. We can generate a huge revenue through it and reduce our fiscal deficit. Dig Singh and media will be the biggest stupidity-tax payers. Others to watch out would be Rakhi Sawant, Vishwa Bandhu Gupta, Kamaal Rashid Khan and so on.

Someone has said it right, Stupidity has no limits.


Monday, February 1, 2010

Nationalization of Bombay..err,sorry mumbai

Shiv Sena says, "Mumbai is for Maharashtrians".
MNS says, "Mumbai is for Marathi Manoos".
RSS says, "Mumbai is for all Indians".
Rahul Gandhi says, "Mumbai was saved by NSG commandos belonging to Bihar and UP when 26/11 took place".
Hello whats going on?
I say Bombay is for the whole world. Please come and enrich it, but don't spoil it.
Aren't we living in age of globalization which we supports open heartedly by taking all those outsourced jobs. Then why this hypocrisy within India?
They say today Earth is a single village. Friedman says World is Flat. Then why are we digging the land of Bombay? More than half of foreign people coming to India land here. Its India's face, why create a island out of it?
They say people from north india are taking up top jobs meant for local guys. Common there is something called meritocracy apart from democracy. All high class jobs required the best available talent irrespective of geography.
They say small sector jobs of local industries should be for local people because one need local skills such as language to do it. I agree. But if someone from other part of the world is able to get it then doesn't it show that the outside person has embraced the local culture about which local people should feel proud of.
All this is so petty. Do we require it? NO. Then why is it happening? There is something called Indian politics. HELL.

P.S. I am ready to replace 'Bombay' with 'Mumbai' anywhere above without any condition :) Afterall Whats in a name?

Monday, September 28, 2009

Whats in a name?

Shakespeare said.."Whats in a name?" Naam mei kya rakha hai? Ask Raj Thackery. He will tell you how does it matter to call 'Bombay' 'Mumbai. Ask Karan Johar who has apologised to the former for using word 'Bombay' instead of 'Mumbai' in his latest flick 'Wake up Sid'. For Karan Johar its business, For Raj it is his party agenda. I dont know what it is for people. Moreover, there is nothing for people most of the time. Some agree and some don't and life goes on. I guess its high time we all have to be careful while uttering this word else we might invite trouble. Looks like there is lot in a Name Mr. Sahakespeare. People find meaning in your name and not in what you do, what you think or Whats your Rashee ( Sorry Ashutosh Gowarikar).
I fail to understand what have we got after changing 'Bombay' to 'Mumbai' or 'Madras' to 'Chennai'? Soon someone (most probably a politician) will say we will call our country Hindustan.
Half of the country will agree, half won't. Media will debate. News channel will air it on their 24 hrs shop. People with free phone will SMS news channel polls and it would be a nice receipe for elections. Absolute Hypocrisy!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Multiple Prime Minister for India

It may be a stupid idea ( with very high chances) but i like stupidity. I got this idea from our favorite kolkata knight riders coach, John Buchanan..and when a qualified and renowned
coach can suggest that stupidity (if it is?) i can as well go ahead without any fear.

India is a land of diversity and that diversity is now being reflected in political parties for few years now. Gone are the days of Congress! Getting 1 party in majority seems distant dream. The regional parties have come a long way and leave no stone unturned to exploit their strength and make a mockery of the largest democracy of world. Coalition is the unfortunate word. Unfortunate because it really test negotiating skills of our poltitical leaders who otherwise enjoy being untested.

I can understand how difficult it would be negotiate to the likes of Mayawatis, Jayalalithas, Mamtas, Yadavs and Singhs who all aspire to be PM. For the same reason i appreciate and respect Atal Bihari Vajpayee who was successful in managing the whims and fancies of Mamtas and Jayalalithas.

This whole exercise of give and take take a heavy toll on our leaders who get so exhausted by the time they form government that their only wish after forming government is to enjoy for the next 5 years. I guess the situation arises because every party want to have their own Prime Minister and we can have only one PM. Imagine if we can have multiple PMs, something like two largest party will have PMs. The whole game will take a U-turn. That would be OBAMA!(read CHANGE). Experts always say we need some one from BJP to deal with Pakistan and from Congress to deal with USA. That would be so easy then.

One more point, The Left should get their PM in each government for next 3 governments as royality to their loya state team revolutionary idea. I hope Sharukh will not ask for money as he is the owner of team and can claim copyright. But he should not as a good citizen of India. Moreover, he is a smart guy who can earn money easily in India.

I know for sure John Buchanan will like my theory and is free to claim the originality of idea.