Showing posts with label corporate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label corporate. Show all posts

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Government || IT company

Imagine this government working as a business unit of an Information Technology company. For some time now, the only project that this IT company is busy with is to save the government from embarrassment. Other projects have taken the backseat. The operational cost is increasing with each scam that keep coming to surface. Some parallels between present government affairs and IT company/project/team..

  • Prime Minister, Dr. Manmohan Singh is the delivery manager who has no idea of what is being delivered to the nation.
  • Pranab Mukherjee is the Support Manager with excellent trouble shooting techniques. He is being overused and paying the price of poor quality of governance (software). The frustration in him was quite evident when he said, "I don't know where this country is going ?" when media seeked his reaction over a man slapping Sharad Pawar. Time to make him president and let him relax in Goa.
  • S.M. Krishna only work is to go onsite and shake hands with Hinna Rabbani Khar & Hillary Clinton.
  • 10 Janpath is the HR department with Sonia Gandhi as its head. Whenever there is a problem, employees rush to it. P Chidambaram and Pranab Mukherjee had that kind of race to reach 10 Janpath recently over 2G note row. 
  • Digvijay Singh and Kapil Sibal are senior developers who still introduces more bugs than junior developers.
  • A. Raja and Suresh Kalmadi were two account managers who were fired reluctantly for making customers unhappy. Well, customers are still unhappy.
  • Anna Hazare & his team is doing a great testing. The testing has also been outsourced to media and citizenry beautifully.
  • Rahul Gandhi is (still) a fresher with Digvijay Singh as his mentor. Performance of both of them is below expectations on the bell curve and can be considered for performance improvement plan.
  • Government's Capability Maturity Model (CMM) has taken a serious beating by Comptroller and Auditor General (CAG) of India in recent times.
  • Business Partners or allies such as Mamta Banerjee are not easy to please or negotiate with.
  • DMK, an important business partner of government has made a nice and profitable business and is now distributing free gadgets.
  • Parliament adjournments are like those server outages. The only difference being that, in case of government they are happening quite frequently and that too on weekdays.
  • Parliament usually has very poor attendance. Employees are enjoying working from home. 

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Corporate Comedy - Communication at workplace

Dedicated to my friend Anmol who got sick of these "words of wisdom" but now as usual have learnt to make a mockery of them. Now he constantly entertain us using these phrases with us and make a highly comical and stress relieving gibberish. He has acquired the art of doing it so well that in between discussing general things he uses them so glibly like a hot knife passing through butter.


"Lets see how much bandwidth is available"


"It would be an issue"

"Raise it as an open issue"

"Issue ho gaya"

"Take it as your action items"

"Need to mitigate risk"

"What are your concerns"

"Its your own call"

"Lets see what are the possibilities"

"Be proactive"

"Take Initiative"

...and many more.